Learning the meaning of happiness is, sometimes, quite painful. But I have not been happy like a child for so many years now, Monday’s incident is, to my mind, a blessing in disguise.
Before people go around saying my arm broke, I think I better let everyone know that it’s ok, nothing wrong with the bone according to the X-ray thanks to my many years of milk drinking, just a lot of trauma on the muscles. As I type this, I’m training my left arm to slowly rejoin my right arm’s service of my daily life. Yes it’s tiring and I’m typing very slowly, with lots of right arm jumping over to help with the ’T’ and the ‘F’ even, but I’m ok, the arm is just locked into L shape position for a while.
This morning I also managed to find new ways to take down and put up the laundry poles with one arm (to ceiling), besides doing the laundry, eating wifey’s 爱心 sandwich, and putting on a shirt (which I needed help originally). I mustered enough strength to push out the darlie onto my tooth brush, while doubled my time spent at the shower to reach otherwise unreachable places my body.
Oh wait, I haven’t told you what’s happened. In short, I fell. This 90kg mass on G-force fell on slippery platforms in front of 500 people (who hopefully didn’t see as they were focused on their rehearsals), while trying to avoid fresh paint on the ground. Initially it wasn’t painful per se, but the muscles slowly stopped working over a period of 3 hours, and by the time we were all supposed to leave, I was in such pain I couldn’t drive.
Well, what is so happy about this unfortunate accident? Nominally you can say it incentivised me to stop jumping around like a kid for the next 4 days, because the weather has indeed turned around from the 3-month long dry spell, to highly humid week of pouring, while we have to me outdoors perpetually.
But that’s not it – I was literally in tears when I fell – tears of happiness, knowing that I’m still capable of this childish act of innocence, of running around in shoes, in an open field (with platforms) with only the cloudy skies above, and surrounded by people who care but aloof in their own happy manner.
There was no hint at all during that moment of falling down, that I have had to carry any responsibilities (even though these thoughts did come back to me an hour later – knowing well that I need to stay healthy for the baby), no judgement made by anyone about me falling (mainly because the injury was internal and everyone thought I was fine and minded their own business), and no purpose of falling – other than a simple avoidance of paint.
Gravity was not of the matter, but, of matter with mass.
And at the end of it all, everyone said goodbye, save for a few who noticed my handicapped body still with a smile on the face. After rejecting a few offers to send me home, thinking I could still drive, reality finally sets in as I told my 7-months pregnant wife of my needing of her rescue.
And she came to the rescue with all her charming beautiful looks, drove me to the hospital and sacrificed her precious resting hours making sure my arm was still with me.
The moon was so full it spills out of its boundary when passing through my glasses. As I awaited for the rescue, I serenaded all the ghost around me on a broken piano with one hand, and the more I play, the happier I become, and the more I play, until I cannot play any more.
I also didn’t realise that one can’t walk properly without all parts of the body functioning together as counter balance. Hobbling with my back towards the moon, when I saw the cab passing through security in the distance, again my hearts went aflutter – my wife whom I married came back to the place I proposed to her to rescue me home. I want to marry her again and again!
Now that a few days has passed, I realise one cannot seek happiness, one has to be open to the arrival of happiness, and set your life up to be ready to receive it. Because real happiness, those of these kinds of magnitude, has no formula. It’s not just a dose of dopamine on the brain, it’s the climax of an epic story of gigantic proportions when compared to our daily routines.
My next training is now to re-learn how to put my left hand into the pocket to pick out the phone. Wish me luck!