Just got a big order today – happy!
Our baby girl is 21 weeks now and the pregnancy is going smoothly. Wifey is starting to feel the weight of carrying her (length of a carrot apparently) and so our walks to lunches and dinner has slowed down.
I’m glad I’m able to stay with her for more parts of the day, as I wind down at work. Starting February, my aim is to be able to make full use of the car to send her to work so that she doesn’t have to fight for a seat in the MRT, hopefully that works out for some days if not all. Ante-natal classes will commence, furniture will be shifted, and the hunt for hand-me-down will intensify in the next 4 months in anticipation of her arrival.
I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that every other person seem to use the word “finally” when I told them about my impending departure from employment into the world of self-employment. “Wah, you ‘finally’ leaving SingTel ah”, “Oh, you have ‘finally’ decided to do your own thing” etc. Hey I was a freelancer for the longest time, making applications for people since 2001, giving tuition since 2000, and arranging music for people since 1994 k.
Nevertheless, this gave me a good perspective of myself – no matter how much I see myself as a entrepreneur at heart, I’m always perceived as corporate or government man ever since I started in Singapore in August 2005. It was enterprise world after enterprise world, supporting and creating for people who can best consolidate power and organise hierarchies to build large organisations that ticks. The perspective needs to change.
It will start some time next month, from my completely outdated personal website (still in its 2002 format) to social media, and then to the things I create and share on the Internet.
At the same time, the physical part of me has already undergone some interesting changes. Even since I tendered, I’ve stopped ironing shirts. I started pulling out many of the old clothes in preparation for donation, and looking forward to the days where I can live on jeans and shorts and hundreds of T-shirts (many free and won’t disintegrate). I started meditating and exercising more often (still nowhere near the daily or weekly levels I desire though). I smiled more often.
I’ve also stopped waking up with a heavy heart. Nightmares are still present, but nowadays I wake up gracefully energised like a bee flying out to gather its first honey of the day. It’s not going to be easy – the last time I subsisted purely on my labour was when I had 8 tuition students and was helping coach a band, but I didn’t need much to get by. Now, the plan needs to pay for my own Medicare while ensuring that the two housing loans are serviced properly, not forgetting the baby.
If you’re one of those who have asked me to start my own thing without quitting my job, let me assure you – I tried, and failed. Useful Music is 7 years old and I haven’t got the energy to go beyond writing (see my last post) when I have bosses and other responsibilities. But of course I’m not hedging my bet only on this. I will put significant energy into this but when it’s time to pull back or when other opportunity arises, I will make the necessary tactical moves.
Tactical – that probably sums up the plan now. There are still lots of people to meet, and lots to explore. The adventure begins on 2014 and will hopefully not end on 2014 (unless I can’t make ends meet).
And now that I stop working for employers who always nags me about public speeches online, I’ll be able to update everyone a lot more on this blog. I have a lot to say, and I don’t intend to mellow as I age – I’m happy being who I am – so don’t be surprised or take certain comments personally.
Let’s do this!
Gong Xi Fa Cai!