Ready to be a 30 year old

Here’s a quick summary of the weekend of doing nothing.

1. Literature

From Baidu Baike

三十而立 (sān shí ér lì) 这是《论语-为政》中孔子对于自己在30岁时所达到人生状态的自我评价。原文是“吾十有五，而志于学。三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而从心所欲。不逾矩”。虽然不是人人都能做孔圣人，但后人往往把孔子的这些自我评语作为人生不同阶段所应达到的生活理想状态。

对于“三十而立”这句评语，后人给出的解释有很多，比较受认同的说法是“30岁人应该能依靠自己的本领独立承担自己应承受的责任，并已经确定自己的人生目标与发展方向”。简单一句话，30岁，人应该能坦然地面对一切困难了。 　

孔子所说的”三十而立”中的”立”不是指成家立业,而是在对社会和自己都有比较明确的认识和理解的基础上的一种自觉的或者是有相对觉解的意识,一种自我人格独立的意识.人的”立”意识是一种普遍的精神现象,具有自觉性、独立性、阶段性、过程性、内在和外在统一性等特征.在对生命之”立”反思意识有所忽视和遗忘的今天,我们应清醒地认识到”立命”才能真正安身,承担崇高的人生使命、培养高尚的道德情操,投身于国家和社会的建设中,我们的人生才有意义。

Short translation: Confucius felt that one’s 30s will be characterized by his independence in taking on responsibility, and his clear life directions and developmental goals. Being self-aware, independent, systematic, and calm, one in his 30s will be able to settle down, take on noble missions, cultivate high morale, and contribute to society, so that his life will be meaningful.

I probably learned this when I was 10, and finally it came into being. Literarily speaking, being 30 is huge (as a 10 year old might think). It is the end of recklessness. It is the beginning of steadfast commitment. It is the beginning of sincerity to one’s own body and pursuit. A 30 year old should grow roots. A 30 year old should be firm, with the mind having a crystal clear vision of his future, because he has enough past now to extrapolate into the future. Another to put it (in mum’s word): How any 30 years do we get in our lives?

No matter which year you use to mark that transition, it’s a good to know when to put your foot down, before you know how.

2. Science (Geography / Physics / Sociology)

And there’s no better way to spend one’s thirtieth birthday at home, doing nothing.

Besides spending most of the last 3 days traveling, and long hours eating and chatting, this was one hell of a long weekend (took leave Friday) that vanished at the blink of the eye. The sleep was good, and so was the leisure shopping.

Surely the energy level has dropped compared to the 20s, but being 30s means that the temper has also dropped. What is sad is that the emotion level has also dropped slightly. It’s getting harder to cry these days. Occasionally, I get a tear somewhere in the middle of a rehearsal, which is a happy thing because it’s not only my analytical mind that’s working with the music, but the creative mind and the romantic heart too that’s reaching to the music. Being 30s means being in peace with your ego, and start doing the best with what you have instead of lamenting about what you don’t have.

Apply the above to “sleep” (making the best of life with insufficient sleep instead of lamenting the need to bring work home), and you finally come to terms with why there are zombies at work sometimes.

3. Rituals

What makes this birthday extra special besides being able to spend it with a special person, is still being able to spend it with a special person. Firstly, this birthday ritual that probably started every since we started having calendars, is a generous ritual. Everyone can perform it, and normally no one will stop you from celebrating your birthday, or tell you how you should celebrate your birthday, so I chose to spend it on the road.

And as the weekend wind down, I also thought it is time to engage in another ritual of life. It has been many moons since I’ve found her (or she’s found me, or we’ve found each other, depending on how you look at it). At first, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Now, I just want to get it right. I want to get it right every day. Maybe that’s the real difference between the 20s and the 30s, the need to directions, affirmations, words of comfort.

So, with her birthday present that has also enabled a lifetime of birthdays to be remembered for the last century, we made materials that can be used for the ritual. For now, this picture will work.

And next step is to head over to facebook, in the middle of the night, and “submit for approval”. If it works, then the results will be available in the morning.

And hopefully that will ritualistically mark, by all the cloud computing power of the internet, my 30th birthday.