1 month check – time is ticking
Hooray! 4 weeks a.k.a. 1 month anniversary of my self-employment-hood. Looking back, happiness was indeed ++ but not so on stress level.
Yesterday I started having really bad dreams again, a recurring theme whenever I get stressed or if my sleep patterns get out of whack. I found myself filling every void when things fall apart, forcing everyone to stay together to achieve our collective goal, a habit perhaps detrimental to my mental well being, but necessary. As I unwittingly drain my emotions, I lose my ability to stay composed. How do one recharge mental energy? Meditation could only shut it off for a while, but the chattering will come back in the sleep.
On the bright side, catching up with friends under a total different pretext of looking for a next gig was great! It’s also wonderful seeing others taking the leap or planning to take the leap into the unknown, except most have opted to try the high-growth startup route instead of building a lifestyle business. Expectedly, the urge to join them in the quest of burning other people’s money to build new technology is always there, but my priority is still to build the music business to a certain size before letting it run in autopilot and hop onto other things.
And in between all these buzz, this not so secret mega concert is shaping up. Here’s our 3rd combined practise:
The size of the orchestra is so big, there’s no rehearsal room that fits. Conducting this is no other than Darence, the one teacher who has literally given everything he has, to put music into the lives on many generations of band students. I’ve also spent a disproportionate amount of time on it thus far, and has started counting down the remaining 19 days of this challenging project.
The “challenging” bit is basically one mad man’s idea to the next and next and by the time everyone’s ideas comes together, it’s completely crazy yet first-of-a-kind. From both high school and college section, the orchestra consist of roughly 80 from chinese orchestra, 80 from concert band, and 80 from string ensemble, together with 80 from choir, 24 festive drums, 6 emcees, an unknown (120?) number of wushu performers, mime actors and a guest performer from the alumni, all playing one single 80 minutes long oratorio, in a setting that’s no less ambitious than NDP, and yet low budget and completely LIVE (no recording).
Once the music is written (i.e. my contribution to the craziness for scoring to fully exploit all instruments), the real challenge was the coordination between many teachers and staff and student leaders. I should take this chance to credit Dropbox (since I haven’t paid them a cent) and Microsoft Excel for being the most relevant tools available today for such projects. And the complexities only builds when the technical team doing the stage, sound, lights, camera and multimedia comes into the picture.
Taking a hindsight view at this mid point (the concert is in 3 week’s time) I had no choice – I had to break new ground. And as every composer / arranger will tell you, the fear is always not knowing who you’re writing for until when the work is done, because redoing it is usually tougher than writing it 1st time.
Nevertheless, I’m surprised and proud of the student’s resilience in the face of this project – none of them had a choice when they are co-opted into this, and we had less rehearsals than a professional group. Coming week they will move out of this shelter and face the elements for the first time, not to mention Singapore facing an extreme dry spell at the moment.
I hope I can recalibrate my own mind set, by watching how these Hwachongians cope with the demands of a block test the week before and after the concert week, their individual group’s demands (some had their own concert lined up, others are going for world competition), and the modern student life itself.
For this is why I went back to school (for many of you who has been asking, here’re the answer that hopefully make you happy) – to relearn that spirit of can-do that made it possible for me to survive my JC years. Not just doing because it’s a job, but because we can, and we will make it happen, and with that we will make a difference.
p/s the school is raising funds, check their website for details.
